Need something to read on the train?
A pocket-size guide on discovering the basics of kink
I write a lot of reviews, mostly about kinky podcasts, some events, and occasionally books. I don’t read nearly as many books as I would like to… bu I do love reviewing them.
So here it’s a book I managed to read on a train ride outside London. It’s book review time!
Tell me about the book
50 Shades of Kink is a small, pocket size, 140 pages book by Tristan Taormino. The book is structured into clear, well-organised chapters, so it’s pretty easy to follow.
This small book has gathered significant attention in the BDSM community, being a popular recommendation among the kink community.
Since I came across it a few times, I decided to order a copy and embark on a journey through its pages. Which proved to be both enlightening and engaging.
Other books I have reviewed:
Tell me about the author
Tristan Taormino is an American feminist author, columnist, sex educator, activist, editor, speaker, radio host, podcaster, and pornographic film director.
She’s well-respected in the world of sex education and BDSM; she has authored several books and produced numerous educational films that explore various aspects of sexuality, kink, and consensual power exchange.
In 2012 she published 50 Shades of Kink. Looking at this book, you might wonder about the title, and why it’s so similar to the (in)famous 50 Shades of Grey novel, which was published between 2011 and 2021. Well, there is a reason.
In her book, Taormino explicitly states, from the very start, that 50 Shades of Grey was never intended to serve as an introductory manual. And that’s exactly ‘ why she wrote 50 Shades of Kink. Her goal was to create a compact, practical guide to kink, something that would be valuable for both novices and seasoned practitioners alike.
This book followed the release of her more comprehensive work, The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge.
What is it about?
The book opens with a foreword by Rachel Kramer Bussel. She starts with some personal anecdotes and then moves quickly onto emphasizing the importance of consent and communication in BDSM practices.
Bussel concludes for foreword with some kudos to Taormino for giving readers the tools to ask the right questions and navigate their kink journeys safely and confidently.
Taormino’s style? She is very grounded. She focuses on demystifying myths, explaining the roles, the power dynamics, but above all she provides a realistic, informed perspective on kink.
In the first chapter, the book covers some popular misconceptions, such as the (wrong) belief that kink comes from some sort of childhood trauma for example, which is a direct reference to 50 Shades of Grey.
It also explains the physiological responses that make pain enjoyable for some people, such as the release of adrenaline, endorphins, and natural painkillers (do you know what a pain slut is? Give this podcast a listen: PODCAST REVIEW: S&M CHRONICLES)
Want to read more about consent and safety?
Check out this blog post where I cover SSC, PRICK, RACK, TEA, FRIES, .. gosh there is so much!
The following chapters are well laid out, covering (more or less in this order) terms, roles, and principles essential to understanding BDSM. She highlights the importance of consent, the principles of SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual), RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink), and the use of safewords, giving feedback, and aftercare.
In the last couple of chapters, she covers the dynamics of dominant/submissive role play and the power games in details, while offering practical advice on how to engage in various types of play.
There are a couple of chapters that expand more on to bondage, impact play, and sensory deprivation. Considering these are some of the most popular types of BDSM play (and are present in 50 Shades of Grey the book), I thought it was a must have.
Definitely a book that can provide readers with a comprehensive understanding of how to safely and enjoyably explore such practices.
What I think of it?
One of the book’s strengths is its thoroughness in covering safety measures, reinforcing the importance protocols to ensure consensual and enjoyable experiences. Taormino also excels in making the material accessible, easy to understand, regardless of the reader’s experience level.
One thing I would say, it’s that the book tends to focus predominantly on male-top and female-bottom dynamics. Which might not resonate with everyone, particularly those who identify differently within the BDSM spectrum.
And by that I mean me. It doesn’t resonate with me. Since I identify as a female top, I didn’t exactly love this, but I understand it was written almost specifically as a follow up to a novel that focuses on that dynamic.
The book concludes with an epilogue that discusses the physical tools needed for BDSM play, though it feels a bit abrupt. Despite this, the overall message and guidance are clear and well-articulated. Absolutely would recommend.
In conclusion...
50 Shades of Kink is a detailed, informative guide that provides valuable insights into BDSM practices. Taormino’s thorough exploration of various aspects of kink makes this book 100% a worthwhile read.
It also has a very handy list of recommended readings at the end (who doesn’t look for the next book after turning the last page of the one they are reading?).
Overall it offers both depth and practical advice for anyone looking to explore or deepen their understanding of BDSM. Enjoy!
Want to get a copy of 50 Shades of Kink?
Like everything in the world (aside of world’s peace), it’s available on Amazon.
