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Book review: The Mistress Manual by Lorelei

Domestic Discipline within BDSM

If you fancy some homely drama, a bit of fantasy, and some spanking

This book is on the reading list of many bloggers, podcasters, and Mistresses, so I thought of getting a copy for myself. Then, I accidentally got two copies. Yes, because there were two editions with different covers when I check out my online basket. And that’s what happens when you shop after 11pm on a school night.

I decided to gift the spare to a friend, and kept the other one. Took me a year to get around to start reading it, but time flew by when I did!

About the author

Mistress Lorelei Powers is the author of the “Mistress Manual”. She is a dominant woman with several decades’ experience, and has trained and feminized many sissy maids, to her own and their delight across the United States. She is a professional writer who has published The Mistress Manual, Charm School for Sissy Maids, and On Display.

About its philosophy

The book looks at Domestic Discipline, which is a very specific dynamic between a female Top and male bottom couple. Domestic discipline refers to consensual corporal discipline between two adults in a dramatised and/or fantasy setting. 

Think of it this way. Do you dream of being a superior being who tells their minion what to do and when to do it? Do you dream of giving said minion a spank whenever he *insert excuse*? Then this is the book for you! 

About its style

The book is split in three parts but, as highlighted by the author at the very beginning, you don’t necessarily need to reach each section in that order. I agree, feel free to start with whatever part intrigues you the most. You will find that each chapter focuses on a specific topic so that should make it pretty easy.

Each section covers a lot of details and, albeit I found the wording a little convoluted at times, each topic was well-covered. Her tone in the book varied. I often found her to be encouraging and inspiring, occasionally a little arrogant and overselling the idea a little too much, but she was always direct and to the point. 

The Mistress Manual
available to buy here.

Nothing can strengthen your relationship like trust.

Mistress Lorelei

About its content

As mentioned, there are three sections. First section: how to become Mistress, challenges and opportunities. Second section: how to execute your role as a Mistress, with practical tips and step by step recommendations. Last section: a closer look at the type of personas/roles you can take while acting as the Mistress.

Mistress Lorelei extensively covers how to ‘control’ your submissive. Tactics include bondage, clothes restrains, tools, chastity devices, anal play, CBT (not a lot on pegging thou, but let me fill you in on that – More about Pegging), nipple stimulation, verbal humiliation, and more. She also writes here and there about resolving conflict, and ironing out kinks in the process (pun intended). 

Very early on, she covers safety measures, which it’s always great to see. SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual) is her go-to protocol. I cover some of that and more on The ABC of BDSM (SSC is one of the protocols used by the BDSM community, but there is also RACK- Risk-Aware Consensual Kink and PRICK – Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink). Would recommend finding the one that works best for you and you partner.

A whole chapter is dedicated to impact play, which I found very detailed. Here is a short summary of what impact play involves: Types of Plays in BDSM. Worth having a read through the chapter, but bear in mind that we all have preferences on the type of impact play we like. I would suggest finding out what you and your partner are into (stingy, tuddy, etc), and then read the type of tool that sounds best suited.

She didn’t cover a lot of aftercare specifically, however she embedded that as part of the play itself. I thought that was a nice touch, being the last step of the play. Some notes about that on here – The ABC of BDSM, thou I think I will eventually dedicate a blog post on the subject. 

Overall, the book is very detailed and thorough and, even if Domestic Discipline is not really your thing, it’s worth reading for inspiration. It’s fairly short, with 170 pages with a list of recommended reading at the end. Enjoy!