And yes, I still commute into work, and I still listen to kinky podcasts. I wanted to try something different this time. As you know, I identify as an cisgender woman and as top, so I wanted to hear an alternative perspective from a cisgender woman as a bottom in a relationship with a cisgender male top. Let’s hear about it, shall we?

A podcast hosted by Kayla Lords and John Brownstone to share what a love of BDSM looks like in a loving relationship between a Dominant and a submissive. People new to the lifestyle or new to the idea that BDSM and love can mix will find something to learn or realize they’re not alone in their experiences or feelings.

John Brownstone is the Dom and Kayla Lords is the sub. They are a married couple, in a D/s relationship, and use this podcast to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences as well as selling BDSM toys.

The podcast is led by Kayla Lords, she identify as a female submissive, baby girl, masochist. I am pretty sure she does most of the legwork on the creation of content, managing the podcast, etc. 

She is also a sex blogger (under the same pseudonym) and an erotic author and have been in the lifestyle since 2012. If you would like to know more about her, you can find more info on her website.

John Brownstone is Kayla’s husband and identify as male Dom, primal, sadist, DaddyDom. His name is a pseudonym that was created for the podcast, and they both agreed that he needed a better name then just SouthernSir. 

John Brownstone is a mix of his real name and a fictitious one. You can find more information on his website. 

As of June 2023, there are about 300+ episodes in their archive, however podcast apps only show about 200+ most recent.  

The first few episodes only features her, and I found them to be a rather good introduction to the podcast. If you wanted to give it a listen, please remember that the first few are only available on the archive page above.

At first, the episodes have the feel of blog posts read out lout, but well-scripted. After all she has been an erotic author for some time. Her tone, and the cadence works, and they are pretty informational. 

The podcast serie covers a broad range of topics, and delve into a lot of details. I feel like the main goal of the podcast is to debunk myths around 24/7 D/s relationships. Kayla and John share VERY personal experiences, as a couple who has been in a long terms D/s relationship, and the dynamics within.

In the first few podcast, she mostly talks about how to be a good submissive for your Dom(me), and how to follow your Dom(me) protocols and instructions to the T. Later on she expands a lot on specific topics and experiences, answer questions from Reddit and from  podcast followers.

Personally, as a top, I have never been in a strict protocol D/s relationship. I have never given strict instructions on behaviours/habits to my play partner nor I have ever enforced any rules outside the bedroom. But then again, I’ve always considered myself a very vanilla kinky person.

I will admit, I found some of the episodes a little strange to hear and a little surreal, but it did indeed provided me with a very different and new perspective on the subject.

I found Kayla and John to be a tad too flirtatious during the podcast, it made me cringe on many occasions. I also started getting annoyed at his overly frequent uh-uh. However, their content is good, informative, and very in-depth (albeit bias since it’s very much about their own experiences in a male top/female bottom relationship). They also cover their own protocols and safety practices. They follow safe sane and consensual (SSC), which is one of the most common.

Personally, I really enjoyed some of the very early podcast episodes as well as many mini episodes. The mini episodes are a perfect length of that are 15-20 minutes long, while a full episode varies from one to one and half hour, which can exceed my journey into work, so I have to break it up in two… I know that’s mostly MY problem, but letting all the other commuters know too.

A podcast I really enjoyed Minisode 37: Building Your BDSM First Aid Kit, from November 2021. Some suggestions were highlighted for bondage, wax play, impact play, etc. Very informative.

Another podcast I enjoyed Minisode 41: Drop, also from November 2021. Some key things were highlighted like Dom(me) drop, which is not often spoken of, and aftercare.

One of the podcast I was looking forward to, and instead turned out completely different, was ‘re-doing a BDSM checklist’ (January 2021). I was expecting a walkthrough of all the items on a checklist, something that I have been meaning to do myself for a long time (in the form of a blog post). However it was not what I pictured… most of the air time was spent by Kayla and John on telling each other’s what they liked or didn’t from the checklist.

They discuss at length about their own experience with each other’s, and I found that a little bit much. I felt like it was a missed opportunity as it only provided a very biased view for each item on the list. Not long after, they followed up with a mini podcast also titled BDSM checklist, but this time explaining what checklists are, how they work and what they are for. I will endeavour to write such a blog post at some point.

My fav episode was Hard Doms vs Soft Doms from January 2022. It covered a lot of what a Dom(me) is, in all of its facets. The spectrum is huge, and I always felt like I was into Gentle Femme Domme, which falls into the Soft Dom. Occasionally I had some sadistic streaks, that is very much considered a Hard Dom trait.

It was great to hear how some Dom(me) can be a blend of both. How leaning on one side more does not necessary define you who you are as a whole. Also appreciate the nudge to vulnerability that both of end of the spectrum have.

If you are in a D/s relationship, and it’s a male top/female bottom, I would recommend a listen as you would find a lot of episodes informative and relevant. 

Listen here or follow on IG here.