Seed Talks
Listening to The Psychology of Fetish and Kink with Dr Lori Beth Bisbey
On April 1st, I attended a two-hour online talk by Seed Talks, modestly priced at £12. Seed Talk is an event company that has been running online and in-person event since 2021.
Their talks centre on mental health, wellness, self-improvement, self-discovery, and more; including some things such as psychedelics, neurodiversity, philosophy, psychology, neuroscience.
Visit their website www.seedtalks.co.uk
What was it about?
This talk featured Dr. Lori Beth Bisbee, a 62-years-old clinical psychologist and advanced, accredited gender, sex and relationship diversity therapist. She’s also a speaker and podcast host.
What was the workshop about? It was titled The Psychology of Fetish & Kink, and I found it to be really in-depth and thorough exploration of the topic.
The talk covered the basics very well. It opened with a solid intro on definitions such as kink vs fetish (need a quick refresher? take a look at The ABC of BDSM). It explored non-normative and non-conventional practices in details, both in the past and present time. It also highlighted why and how people can be kinky, and what kinks and fetishes look like in human sexuality.
The talk dived into some fascinating topics. For example, I enjoyed hearing about how kinks often run in families (I heard that before, but love learning more) and how kink and fetish play is, quite literally, play. As in it’s a game that adults play. Specifically, that’s something I truly believe in. Not that I didn’t believe any of the other things said up to this point – but this, THIS, really resonates with me.
Personally, I love playing. Jigsaw puzzles, board games, video games, and anything puzzle-y, I AM IN. I truly believe that just because we become adults, it doesn’t mean we should stop playing. I often think of BDSM and kink as fun and playful activities. I hope I will continue to entertain such approach for the rest of my life.
A few other topics were covered really well too. One that stood out was pain in relation to pleasure, both in the way they are intertwined and in the way it’s managed within the dynamic. Not being a masochist myself, that was something I really enjoyed listening to.
Next up: safeguarding. Time for some Risk Assessment. She did a great job covering the importance of both parties being responsible for communication, negotiation, setting protocols, and getting consent (you can find more blog post about protocols and consent here). That gets even more extra points from me!
Dr Lori Beth Bisbey – website here.
Overall?
I found the talk really educational and informative, packed with real-life examples and delivered in clear, accessible language. It was also followed by a fantastic Q&A with some brilliant questions that Lori Beth handled like a pro.
Lori Beth was engaging and friendly, with a lovely, reassuring tone throughout. I’ll definitely keep an eye out for more Seed Talks events – I really enjoyed this one.
