Flogging… erm, I mean Flagging. As in Flags.

Once upon a time, I wrote about breadcrumbing – BREADCRUMBING. NOT JUST FOR FAIRY TALES, then about zombieing – ZOMBIEING. BECAUSE HALLOWEEN IS COMING and ghosting – GHOST STORIES THIS HALLOWEEN and negging too – COMPLIMENT OR INSULT? YOU BE THE JUDGE. Earlier this year, right before S. Valentines, I also wrote about benching – BENCHING. PUT ON A SHELF, NOT A PEDESTAL.

Dating life is a bit like a rainbow: colourful, fleeting, and hard to pin down. And sometimes you’re not even sure you’re seeing the colours right. So when I chat to my friends, we sometimes share tips on what’s a good green flag and what’s a scary red one.

Trying to distinguish the good, the bad, and the quirky in a ‘potential’ partner. Today, just in time for my usual Halloween post about dating, I wanted to break some of them down for you (without drowning in rainbow soup ideally).

These are the shades that make you pause and/or run. Basically the various degrees of inconsistent behaviour, love bombing, lying or keeping things for their own benefit. 

• Red means danger: they might show signs of controlling behaviour, gaslighting, disregarding boundaries, and reminds you of a friend’s toxic ex. Watch out and steer away.

• Orange is the “do not ignore me” shade: mood swings, asking for personal details like phone number or address, overbearing families, or behaviours that could tip into unhealthy territory.

• Yellow sits in the middle: not instant dealbreakers, but patterns (mixed signals, hot and cold, poor communication, unresolved baggage) that might turn red if not addressed.

If you’re seeing too much of this palette, it’s time to check whether your love life is starting to resemble an erupting volcano instead of sunny vibes.

Greens are the soft yes. Think respect, boundaries (gosh, that’s a hard one to get), trust, emotional safety, healthy conflict resolution, and cheering each other on.

Green is a colour you want plenty of. A whole Hyde Park worth of!

These are the softer shades that make things interesting.

• Pink: think of this one as the little niggles that might grow if ignored (jealousy, over-indulgence, clinginess). Not quite red, but might be worth addressing.  

• Beige: quirks and habits that make your partner unique. Sometimes boring (is there a more boring colour than beige?), sometimes endearing — sometimes both.

Blue flags are calm and steady: loyalty, stability, peace. Like when they remember how you take your tea. 

But depending on who you ask, they can also hint at uncertainty: are your paths really aligned? Think of it as the deep ocean: soothing, but do you know how to swim?

These are the non-negotiables: abuse, manipulation, repeated betrayal, unsafe behaviour, asking for or demanding money, isolation, anything that tears at your core values.

Remember: no amount of “but they’re hot” is worth it here (or they’re good in bed, etc).

Now, if you’re lucky enough to find someone with a striped tiger flag, you’re in for a treat. (Yes I am making this up, it’s my blog, I write whatever I want).

Tiger flags are fierce, playful, curious, and a little kinky. It’s the sign you’ve met someone who’s truly unique. And Fabulous 🙂

Dating is messy, but colour-coding your love life makes it easier to see whether you’re looking for a rainbow or bathing in lava. Either way, bring sunscreen. Best of luck!!