Warning, this is a Zombie story.*
Warning, this is another post like the one about ghosting – GHOST STORIES THIS HALLOWEEN and the one about negging – COMPLIMENT OR INSULT? YOU BE THE JUDGE.
You have been warned.
From Ghosts to Zombies
Halloween is coming. And very much like zombies do, those old hinge or bumble contacts wake up from their long sleep. (Urban Dictionary definition here for reference).
Like the ghosts of future past, they come back to life with a “hey” or “Hey :)”. Maybe the ghosted you a while ago, and come back with the excuse “sorry it has been crazy busy” or maybe they never asked you (and you didn’t either) for a second date because they had another first date lined up with someone else (or ‘something better’ to do). Whatever the case, they are now back.
Obviously, I am not saying they are all zombies. Maybe some of them are truly searching for that connection with you. But ask yourself: was there a connection in the first place? Do you care for them or did they care for you? Are they causing you even more of an emotional stir than they did when they ghosted you? Did you hit it off like a house on fire on your fist date, and then they disappeared? Remember people on a first date are on their best behaviour. So if they then ghost you, that might just be how they really are.
Most of the times, these zombies are just narcissists. They do not care, nor they have any emotional intelligence to understand how, after ghosting you, that can effect you. They are just trying to get a reaction off you and an ego boosts for them. These narcissist might be feeling lonely or bored, and they might be doing this to multiple victims at the same time. Their sense of entitlement and lack of accountability just shows that they are not ‘bad at communicating’, instead they are just looking to fill their need.
Now, what are you going to do? My suggestion is to just archive and block. This is because, whatever you are going to say to them it will simply welcome more challenging conversations. The narcissist will explain away all the reasons why they ghosted you, and in the process they drain your life. If you decide to entertain such conversations, it will give them even more of a sense of entitlement, and the narcissist can do this again, and again, and again in the future.
In short, my warning this Halloween is: BEWARE OF ZOMBIES, THEY ARE REAL.
*Did I lie?
