Warning, this is a fairy tale.*
Someone told me they were being breadcrumbed. I thought they were talking about a recipe. Then I realised they weren’t. This is another post like the one about ghosting – GHOST STORIES THIS HALLOWEEN, negging – COMPLIMENT OR INSULT? YOU BE THE JUDGE, and the one about Zombieing – ZOMBIEING. BECAUSE HALLOWEEN IS COMING.
From old German fairy tales to modern dating nightmares
What are we talking about?
You might remember the fairy tale about Hansel and Gretel. Two kids, living with their father and stepmother in a small house near a forest. Starving, obviously, because it’s a Brothers Grimm fairy tale, and those are known to be a little dark.
The stepmother, who was never fond of them, convinces their father to abandon the kids in the woods. Starvation problem solved. One of the two overhears the plan and picks up a bunch of white pebbles to drop along the path, so they can make their way back home. Clever kids. Epic fail for the stepmother.
She tries the plan again, this time locking the kids at home for good measure. On their second attempt, Hansel and Gretel use breadcrumbs instead of pebbles, and are unable to retrace their steps due to birds snacking on them.
The unlucky pair of kids gets lost and encounters a witch in the woods who wants to eat them. Long story short, they outsmart and murder her (I did say it was dark). They run away back to their father, who is now living the single life. Happy ending.
Well, breadcrumbing is sort of like leaving a trail of little messages to keep someone interested, but never quite committing to a meaningful connection.
When does it happen? and how?
Picture this: you’ve met someone intriguing, maybe through a dating app or a on a night out. The conversation goes on, and it’s pleasant. Maybe there’s even a spark of excitement. But then, slowly, things start to get a little… occasional? random? elusive?
The initially enthusiastic conversation becomes an occasional text. Turns into some hints of future plans or likes on your social media posts. Just enough to keep you guessing and wanting more, yet never solid enough to build a substantial relationship or any commitment. You are left hoping for more substance but instead only receive fragments of attention. In this context, it’s considered an antisocial dating behavior, similar to ghosting.
According to experts, breadcrumbing can stem from a fear of commitment, a desire for attention without genuine emotional investment, or simply a lack of clarity about what one wants.
But here’s the catch—breadcrumbing isn’t always intentional or meant to be malicious. Some people might breadcrumb unknowingly, caught up in their own uncertainties or personal issues. So it’s important to realize early on if you’re on the receiving end, as it might not align with what you’re looking for.
And what do you do when it happens?
First of all, trust your instincts. If something feels off or inconsistent, it’s okay to address it directly or reassess your own expectations. Communication is key—express your needs and boundaries clearly. Remember, you deserve genuine and consistent connections that nurture and fulfill you.
While breadcrumbing might add a layer of mystery to the whole dating game thing, please make sure you prioritise your emotional well-being. Stay open to meaningful connections but remain discerning about where you invest your time and energy.
Remember, the journey to authentic relationships is best traveled with those who are ready to share genuine interest and mutual respect.
If you want to know more, read this article from Psychology Today. In the meantime, keep exploring, keep learning, and above all, keep honoring your own worth. Until next time, happy navigating through the twists and turns of modern romance!
*Did I lie?
