Kink community: Meet Cosmic, LAM’s organiser

Thanks to my friend and fellow blogger Alice, from Unicorn Hunting, today I wanted to interview someone who has had some very controversial reputation in the kink community.

You might know him by his FT name Cosmic, he is the organiser of the famous monthly shopping events for the kink, BDSM and fetish community, the London Alternative Market and LAMchester in Manchester. 

Firstly, can you please tell us who you are and how you identify yourself?

Male 51 straight, dominant, and extremely kinky.

What archetype do you best identify with?

I have always been dominant since a young age and found I enjoyed bossing others around far too much as a child, even getting my peers to beg for sweets in the playground.

In three words, how would you describe yourself?

Living best life.

When and how did you get into the kink community?

I made the conscious decision to express more of my kink side back in 2003 when you could still get sectioned for SM.

I took my first steps to events alone but rapidly picked up playmates and lovers along the way. The kink scene in London was a lot smaller in those days with only one munch and a handful of clubs. It was a very different scene.

What kept you coming back to it? 

One of the things that keeps me active in kink is that it continually evolves. No sooner than one event or venue closes, something new comes along to replace it. It’s a series of communities which ebb and flow although the growth over the last 10 years has been nothing short of outstanding.

When we used to have a few larger events, we now have hundreds of times the number attending 100 more events creating a real patchwork for people to explore.

How do you like to stay involved? 

I stay involved through managing LAM, teaching workshops and acting as an advocate for SM & the law through the Spanner Trust.

For me, kink is not just something that I do in my spare time. It’s a lifestyle and something I have spent thousands of hours investing in. Some skills take years of practice no matter how natural you are.

What is the London Alternative Market like? Can you tell me how it all started?

LAM started as a project in 2005 and launched in 2006 when a number of the traders asked me to start a new event to help them grow their businesses.

It’s a community supporting market offering shopping, social space and education in a clean and well managed venue. Over the years we have raised over £32,000 for community causes and provided support to the many small businesses who trade with us.

It’s a mix of shopping, social and workshops (which are archived on YouTube) and a great way to spend a Sunday catching up with friends and meeting new ones.

The event attracts 650 people per month with 50+ attend as their first ever kink event, many attracted by the newbie orientation at 1pm and the events clear and transparent policies.

The market clears away to the afterparty at 7pm, when we open up two dungeon areas and a rope room in the vault. For those interested in learning rope there is also an additional rope workshop that starts at 5:30 offering structured learning for 35 guests per month.

Great to hear about LAM directly from you! And you run another event in Manchester?

The Manchester event is on hold at present but we have been adding additional Southern events like the Kent mini market and the Summer retreat to fill in the gaps.

You also chair The Spanner Trust, can you tell us a little more about it? What is it? How does it work?

The Spanner Trust formed following the 1987 Police investigation which resulted in the prosecution of individuals for engaging in SM. The trust now has two roles:

1. to consult with the home office on new legislation
2. to support kinksters should they find themselves in trouble with the law

While recent governments have been less than willing to listen to feedback on legislation, they are still duty bound to listen to correctly constituted groups, which the trust is one of the few in the UK since the demise of SM pride.

Ultimately we would like to clarify and update the UK’s archaic legislation and protect the rights of kinksters to express themselves.

What else are you involved in?

I try to keep my activities limited to LAM and the trust, so people don’t accuse me of trying to run everything. I used to run an event called Just Rope which was rope bondage night and London’s first event for rope skill sharing but over the years as LAM has grown I have kept focused on that and my other businesses…

What challenges did you face at the beginning of your journey?

When I started attending events the scene was a lot smaller and there were not as many younger people around so finding your feet was a lot harder. Thankfully with good people around to provide examples and some supportive partners I found my feet. I was initially very frustrated with rope and preferred cuffs and restraints for years until one day at a workshop things clicked and my rope skills accelerated. I guess we all need to appreciate that it takes time to develop the skills to do the things that are in our heads.

Can you give me some examples of when you difficult situations happen and how it was sorted?

Over the years I have been accused and investigated for “human trafficking for the purposes of sexual exploitation” and being “an intimidating man dressed in black brandishing implements of sexual torture”. While the former was something of a horrific ordeal, and the accuser later admitted it was a false allegation, in the later case the Metropolitan Police are yet to explain why I was investigated before it became a crime. However, like anyone of notoriety within communities be that train spotting or the Barnes historical society there is often a small group who claim anyone they see as “having more than them” is doing so by nefarious means although their allegations often lack any fact or substance.

Are you still facing any of these challenges today?

Sadly yes, just a few months ago someone was caught making some very defamatory remarks which were completely untrue, when asked to correct the record their response was “but I did not say it first”, as if this is an acceptable excuse for slander.

How do you deal with it?

The only way to address things which are not based on truth is to invite people to raise any concerns through the clear policies and procedures we have at LAM. Meaning that any complaint about me can’t be processed by me and will get handled independently.

I have even mirrored those processes in my private life but some people prefer to fuel their own drama triangles rather than actually seeking to address any concerns. For the most part I am very good at keeping focused on delivering events rather than engaging in such social games

What was your greatest achievement/biggest failure?

My biggest achievement in recent years was keeping LAM and the traders going through lockdown with a combination of online events and innovative outdoor retail opportunities. While we lost a few businesses the impact was no where near as bad as it could have been had we have keep the shutters down throughout. I am also proud of the fact that we did this without the assistance of a grant and have almost repaid the loans we needed to take out.

What did that teach you about yourself?

It taught me that when a crisis hits I have a great team who are able to pivot and are willing to continue to support as many people as possible, especially those who chose that challenging time to connect with the kink community.

What’s your favourite kinky hobby?

My fav kink hobbies are doing creative photo shoots at my studio or in the woods in Kent.

And your favourite vanilla hobby? 

I don’t really have much time for vanilla in my life as I keep as busy and kinky as possible but my passions outside of the scene are the Bwiti traditions (I had a tribal rebirth and initiation in 2023 in Gabon) and my car which brings a smile to my face every time I drive it.

I have heard you are passionate about toys, what are some of your favourite craftsman?

I have literally thousands of toys having collected them for 25+ years. I am hard pressed to select even a top 10 let alone a favorite one or two, in fact my dessert island dildo LAM live workshop is about a short a list as I can get to. However, I have some amazing custom pieces by makers like Spanking Tools, Daisy’s Floggers, Alex Cobra, Screaming Master and DOM-estics. I like my toys to be well balanced and capable of delivering a thumb without having to throw your back into swinging them.

Do you have a favourite book and favourite movie?

Book – Jonathen Livingstone Seagull – not kinky but an amazing book full of great advice
Movie – Dead Ringers – it’s got some amazing medical play scenes featuring some alternative bondage materials

Do you have any advice for young kinksters? And Doms like yourself?

Yes – take your time and learn at the pace you are comfortable with. In part this helps make sure you only take the risks you are willing to deal with the consequences of and there is lots of fun to be had without needing to learn the edgy and more scary elements of kink. Also try to build some healthy platonic kink relationships as well as play and relationship based ones, they can be some of your best long term friends who also understand the ups and downs of an active kink life.

Will you share a funny anecdote from your life in the scene? 

I really should start my interview series on that subject because we really do all have stories to learn from. In my case two lessons on one occasions spring to mind: 1 – don’t ever say oops in the dungeon while playing and just before you giggle and 2 – lots of lube and a corkscrew motion with your finger is the correct way to remove a plug that’s being swallowed up. It was a tense few moments but one we were all able to soon laugh about.

What does the future have in store for you?

I am hoping for another 18 or so years at LAM and I would love to learn to paramotor this year but so long as I keep having kinky fun everything else is a bonus.

This interview was certainly a ride… I heard a lot about you and sometime it’s hard to discern reality from fiction, so I thank you for your candor.

That is all for today, thank you for the time and patience, and see you at the next LAM!

To you all, take care and keep it kinky!!

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by the interviewee do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the interviewer.