Kink community: Meet Miss Pixie Mills

Excited to say that, as I continue to explore the gorgeous kink community in London, I meet more and more worthy individuals who shape the community from within. 

Previously, I interviewed longstanding member of the community, Miss Kim Rub – KINK COMMUNITY: A LONDON-BASED DOMINATRIX, and professional kink therapist Deborah – KINK COMMUNITY: MEET THE KINK SHRINK.

This time, I wanted to chat to someone who contributes in a different way. She’s a Dungeon Monitor at events like Club Pedestal, runs House of Command, helping male subs to find and lead a Female-Let Relationship, and part of the FemDom South Munch team (remember Munches?).

I am pleased to present you Miss Pixie Mills 🙂

Firstly, can you please tell us who you are?

I am Miss Pixie Mills, and I identify as an old school Dominatrix. 

What’s your Domme persona like? What’s your style? 

I’d definitely say I’m an alpha female, in pretty much areas of my life. In terms of archetypes I identify with the Governess, but I can also be quite a soft, sensual domme.

Governess? Can you please tell me more about that?

So because I’m a Governess type, I enjoy mentoring people and helping them discover what they enjoy, but I’m very strict and I demand high standards, and I’m very picky about who I play with. I like to think I’m pretty friendly and approachable too though!

How long have you been part of the BDSM community?

I’ve been involved in the community for almost ten years now.

What sort of things are you involved in? 

Oh .. it’s quite a long list! So I’m one of the moderators for a group on FetLife called FemDom Alliance, I also run a group on FetLife with a friend called the House of Command. I’m part of the FemDom South Munch team, I’m a Dungeon Monitor at Club Pedestal in London and Dark in Southampton. I also have my own Oxford Supper Club which is on a bit of a hiatus at the moment.

FemDom Alliance sounds like a community, can you please tell me more about it? Anyone else who runs it?

It’s a group on FetLife for people to post information that may be of interest to the FemDom community. So people can use it to share links to events or workshops or anything that other people may find useful or of interest. There are a few of us who moderate it.

You mentioned the House of Command? I am intrigued, can you please tell me how it works? What drives it? 

So my very dear friend Lady Louella set up this group during lockdown and then drafted me in to help as it was so popular. It’s a group for aspiring male submissives who want a Female Led Relationship (FLR). Basically, she’d noticed lots of male submissives were having trouble meeting people and establishing themselves in the scene. And as Dommes, we were experiencing the same old tired approaches all the time. So rather than complain about that, we decided to try and help them – be the change you want to see in the world and all that!

Who else joins you in these endeavours? 

There’s a small team of us that support the FemDom South events, which include a regular munch, summer picnics and kinky paintball events!

The Oxford Supper Club? Can you please tell me more about it?

This was something that my husband Pirate Phil and I set up shortly before lockdown. We travel a lot for events and thought there may be some interest in small high protocol drinks and dining events more locally. We ran some socials to gauge interest – and there’s definitely a lot of interest! – but sadly my time hasn’t stretched to putting on any actual events yet!

When did you discover the BDSM and fetish scene?

I can remember the exact moment! I was 19 and I was spending a year in France as a companion to an elderly lady. That was an interesting job … There were repeats of an old TV show called The Avengers on every day and I used to watch it religiously. So, one day they showed the episode A Touch of Brimstone where the main characters Mrs Peel and Steed go to a modern day Hellfire Club. She wore a full on BDSM look – a black corset, PVC boots and a studded collar. And all I wanted to do was to go to a club like that! It took me quite a few years to finally make it though… When I met my husband, he was already on the scene and I’m so grateful that I met him when I did because he took me to my first events and I’ve never looked back.

What made you pursue a life in the scene? 

I’d been in a vanilla relationship previously and I knew that I’d suppressed that part of myself for a long time and it finally felt like it was time to indulge it. 

What challenges did you face at the beginning of your journey?

It sounds silly but the outfits! When I started going to events in London, I just wanted all the outfits – coveted them! Believe it or not it actually took me a while to get comfortable with latex and what suited me, but now it’s now a lifelong love affair!

Are you facing any of these challenges to this day?

My biggest problem these days is the opposite – it’s wardrobe space, because now I’m ashamed to say I have way too many outfits!

What was your greatest achievement and your biggest failure?

I think my biggest achievement is being able to support events and help to provide other people with the opportunity to discover the community the way that I once did. So being asked to be part of the teams at FemDom South, Dark and Club Pedestal is a real honour and I know so many wonderful people as a result of being involved with those events. I’m very grateful for the opportunities that I’ve been given. I suppose my biggest disappointment has been starting Oxford Supper Club but not being able to move it forwards and actually get it off the ground just yet.

What did your greatest achievement/biggest failure teach you about yourself?

I think supporting the community has made me realise that I had a lot to offer other people in the way of support and mentoring. But I’m definitely guilty of taking on too much sometimes because I like to say yes to so many things!

What’s your favourite kinky hobby? 

I love learning! I like to try and expand my BDSM skill set all the time, so reading and practising new things are my favourite hobby. I just bought myself a whip and I’m really enjoying learning how to use it – and I’m lucky enough to have had a few volunteers to be on the other end of it…

And your favourite vanilla hobby?

Just simple things really. I absolutely love to read – fiction and non-fiction. Spending time with my family is really precious to me, and I love working out with my trainer – I really need that endorphin rush!

Do you have a go-to item of clothing that you love and cannot live without? 

Lingerie, lingerie, and more lingerie! I’m obsessed with Agent Provocateur. My favourite item of clothing is my first ever corset from AP – it’s black mesh and PVC and I absolutely adore it.

What is your favourite book? 

It’s really hard for me to pick a single book, because I read so much – both classics and modern fiction. I absolutely love Thomas Hardy – I spent my teenage years reading everything he’d written, which is a lot! There’s a short story of his called The Withered Arm, which has an incredible twist at the end that’s always stayed with me. I also love the French writer Francoise Sagan – Bonjour Tristesse would definitely be a contender for my favourite book.

What makes you feel empowered during and/or outside a play scene? 

For me, as soon as I put on a pair of high heels I get into a more confident dominant mindset. I love traditionally feminine clothing – beautiful lingerie, stockings and suspenders, pussy bowl blouses and pencil skirts – all of that gets me in the right headspace. And, of course, anything shiny like latex or PVC.

Do you have any advice for young kinksters? 

For young kinksters, I’d say don’t live your life exclusively online. Social media’s a great tool for finding out about events and what you’re interested in, but there’s no substitute for making real life connections. 

And Dommes like yourself?

Reach out to more experienced Dommes for mentoring and support. One of the aspects of the FemDom scene that I love is the way women support other women. There’s so much care and support out there from other Dommes if you look for it.

Will you share a funny anecdote from your life in the scene?

One of the things I love about the BDSM community is its capacity to constantly surprise you. At one of my first ever events, I remember seeing a guy lying on the floor. He had his own carpet attached to him and a sign that said “Please walk on me” – so obviously I did! I’d never trampled on someone before and it was very weird to me at the time because I was so inexperienced but it was so much fun as well. I still think about that sweet little carpet guy!

And that is all for today, I would like to thank Miss Mills for her time and her thorough answers, and catch up soon at the next party!

To you all, take care and keep it kinky!!