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Emma Watson talks about kink culture

This woman keeps rocking my world.

I’ve also kind of become slightly fascinated by kink culture because they are the best communicators ever. They know all about consent. They smash that stuff because they really have to get it — but we could all use those models; they’re actually really helpful models.

Emma Watson

© Alasdair McLellan.

Emma Watson is an English actress, model and activist. We all know here as Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter film series, but she also has played leading roles in My Week with Marilyn, The Perks of Being a Wallflower (available on Netflix), The Circle (Netflix Original), the fantastic Beauty and the Beast (major Disney fan here), and the coming-of-age film Little Women.

But she didn’t just stop there. While working she graduated from Brown University with a bachelor’s degree in English literature and she modeled for big labels such as Burberry and Lancôme. She lent her name to a line of clothing for People Tree and she won British Artist of the Year in 2014. That same year, she was appointed as a UN Women Goodwill ambassador and helped launch the UN Women campaign HeForShe, which encourages gender equality.

But she didn’t just stop there. More recently she has done a couple of awesome interviews, one with Vogue and one with Teen Vogue, where she talked about sex, world peace, and being happily ‘self-partnered’. 

Yep. She keeps rocking it.

In the Teen Vogue article, Watson talks about how non-traditional/stereotypical relationships (think same-sex, poly, or other) require more communication and consent. She highlights how the communication and agreement about the delegation of tasks, labor, and responsibilities constitute the foundation of that relationship. When you look at a more traditional model instead, there is the idea that relationships are supposed to be easy and it’s all supposed to be implicitly understood, and you’re just meant to get each other, it’s bullsh*t! It’s impossible!”. Her words, not mine. And in my personal experience, I encountered this a lot, and I always found it utterly confusing and frustrating when my partner(s) just expected me to read his/their mind(s). “Hi, I am Kinky Tiger, and I am not a mind-reader.” is the way I will start all my future relationships.

She goes on and talks about how she seen that the healthiest relationships are between same-sex couples because of that extra communication that takes place. They don’t simply make assumptions, but they sit down and agree on things. “I’ve also kind of become slightly fascinated by kink culture because they are the best communicators ever. They know all about consent. They smash that stuff because they really have to get it — but we could all use those models; they’re actually really helpful models.” she says. She continues talking about women’s equality, feminism, marriage, #MeToo, and more.

In the Vogue article, she addresses the anxiety and stress that most single women have when reaching their 30s. She was always of the idea that everyone made a too big a fuss over it, but then when reached 29, she suddenly realised of this influx of subliminal messaging around us. “If you have not built a home, if you do not have a husband, if you do not have a baby, and you are turning 30, and you’re not in some incredibly secure, stable place in your career, or you’re still figuring things out…” she pauses for breath. “There’s just this incredible amount of anxiety.” It’s so relatable and it’s amazing how someone like Watson is still very much like you and me. She continues saying “I never believed the whole ‘I’m happy single’ spiel, I was like, ‘This is totally spiel.’ It took me a long time, but I’m very happy [being single]. I call it being self-partnered.”

I truly love her ♥

© Alasdair McLellan.

Back in March, I wrote a blog on Wonder Woman‘s origin story, not the comic book’s origin, but the actual character. In the blog, I talked about the author(s) behind it all: Professor Marston, a writer/psychologist, his wife Elizabeth Marston, an attorney and psychologist, and their lover. Full article here, but here is an extract about BDSM and consent I wrote then.

CONSENT CONSENT COSENT

What is BDSM?

BDSM is catch-all phrase covering a wide range of activities between consenting adults, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures. It encompass a wide variety of practices or role-playing involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and other related interpersonal dynamics. The term “BDSM” itself is a combination of the abbreviations B/D (Bondage and Discipline), D/s (Dominance and submission), and S/M (Sadism and Masochism). 

BDSM sessions often require a wider array of safety precautions than vanilla sex (sexual behaviour without BDSM elements). It is important to stress that all of these fun, exciting, and stimulating activities happen between consenting adults; if there is no consent, then it’s assault. Negotiation and disclosure take place before any of the games starts; in these negotiations, the ‘players’ openly discuss their preferences and roles, and establish a framework of both acceptable and unacceptable activities. Additionally, safewords are often arranged to provide for an immediate stop of any activity if any participant should so desire (or occasionally a “safe symbol” such as dropping a ball or ringing a bell, especially when speech is restricted).

If you want to explore BDSM, without feeling like you have to join in, visit Kink Academy or, once we are back to normality, check out my events page for ideas 🙂