Kink community: Vicky from Bondatrix

It’s time for another interview! I’ve recently spoken to several fascinating people, but this time I wanted to hear from someone behind the scenes of the kink industry — someone who’s running a business within our community.

Let me introduce you to Vicky: a kink educator, performer, Pro and Lifestyle Domme, and the founder of Bondatrix, a UK-based fetish shop known for its handcrafted gear and dedication to ethical kink.

Let’s hear her story in her own words. 

All images have been used with Vicky’s consent. 

Firstly, can you please tell us who you are and how you identify yourself?

Hi, I’m Vicky. I’m a pansexual, poly female, though on some days I lean more towards non-binary.

I’m a Pro and Lifestyle Domme, with a strong preference for traditional service-oriented dynamics. With a very select few, I switch, which is how I discovered I truly enjoy bondage in the right context.

What’s your favourite kinky item of clothing or tool and why? 

The number one kinky tool is always the brain. Taking a submissive on a journey is what makes a scene exciting and memorable. But of course, the right tools matter too; you need reliable, quality gear that won’t fail mid-play.

That’s actually what led me to making my own kit back in the late 1990s. No one was making the kinds of floggers and gear I wanted, so I started making them myself. When people at clubs kept asking to buy my stuff, the business idea was born… and I’ve been running it ever since.

In three words, how would you describe yourself?

Creative, imaginative, caring.

You are a regular at Club Pedestal, how did it all start?

Club Pedestal has been a part of my life for a long time, even before I started running a stall there. I used to attend regularly with play partners, and that’s how I got to know Derek, the organiser. I’ve always loved performing, so I approached him with some show ideas and ended up performing at several events.

Later, Derek decided to introduce a stall so guests could buy outfits or toys to use on the night. The first company he tried was a re-seller of Chinese imports, so I offered to bring in my handcrafted UK-made items instead. Just one month later, we had a deal. Now, years on, I’m the regular stallholder and proud sponsor of the House Slaves’ gear.

All images have been used with Vicky’s consent. 

You have been running Bondatrix since 2003, I want to know its origin story, ethos, where you are headed, everything!

I was studying Retail Management at university and growing increasingly disillusioned. Unless I somehow became head of Tesco, I’d spend my career as a middle manager following someone else’s ideas. And as a woman, let’s face it, I probably wasn’t going to become head of Tesco.

So, during my placement year, I began experimenting: making small runs of products and selling them at kink and goth events. For my final-year project, I asked to write my business plan on this actual idea, which meant researching kink on university computers (back when kink was far less accepted than today!).

I ended up with decent marks and, more importantly, a fully researched, tested business idea. From there, Bondatrix grew — slowly at first, then steadily over time. The business evolved to reflect my creativity, expanding into clothing, leatherwork, woodwork, and accessories.

Over the years I’ve also run workshops, both public and private, as I strongly believe in education and sharing knowledge. Teaching has taken me to international kink conferences in Rome, Denmark, and recently Budapest, where attendees travelled from neighbouring countries with no local events. It made me realise how lucky we are in the UK to have such an active kink scene.

Running my own business has given me freedom… not just personally, but ethically too. I do what’s right for my customers, even if that means losing a sale. Some of my customers have been with me since the beginning, which I think says a lot. I’ve also been fortunate enough to win several awards, including the International Bondage Awards in 2012 and the UK Fetish Awards in 2020.

Oh and you have a YouTube channel too! What do you vlog about?

I’ve been battling with YouTube for years, trying to keep a kink education channel live to provide free content. Around two decades ago, I worked with a full film crew to produce a series of educational videos that followed YouTube’s content restrictions. The videos would hit a million views!! … then the channel would be deleted. I’d start again, re-upload the content, reach another million views!! …and then deleted again.

The videos were being seen. I was even recognised at clubs by strangers who’d watched them. I felt a little bit famous! But it was frustrating. I still face similar challenges, but at least now YouTube just removes individual videos instead of deleting the whole channel.

That’s why my content is very tame these days. I can’t even demonstrate techniques anymore, sometimes just talking about something can get a video removed instantly.

My recent uploads are low production quality, just shot on my phone with minimal editing. Still, you’ll find a wide range of how-to videos on BDSM topics, from using specific pieces of equipment to attending your first munch or meeting someone kinky.

For more in-depth tutorials, where I can show techniques on another person, I’ve partnered with Fetish.com. You’ll find a full series of instructional videos on their BDSM Training School pages.

What are your workshops like? What do you cover?

I teach a huge variety of topics: from florentine flogging and fire play to bondage without rope and manipulating the five senses.

I’ve been active in the scene and playing for nearly three decades, with over 1,000 scenes and hundreds of different partners. I’ve explored a wide range of kinks, so there’s very little I don’t teach. That said, I know my limits… I don’t teach whips, electrics, or needles, as I’m not an expert in those.

My classes are very hands-on. If I’m teaching flogging, I want people to try the techniques there and then, so I can guide them in real time. You’ll leave the class actually knowing what you’re doing.

This leads to some brilliant moments! Like 15 people all being mummified at the same time, with the sound of tape filling the room! And I keep my classes fun. We learn better when we’re enjoying ourselves.

Oh wow, gotta love the sound of mummified subs! Do you travel much for your workshops?

Absolutely! I’ve travelled all over Europe—from Denmark and Dublin to Rome and Budapest, as well as all over the UK. I especially love the big multi-day conferences, where you can mix with presenters from around the world, learn from global kink experts, and party hard in the evenings!

All images have been used with Vicky’s consent. 

When and how did you discover the BDSM and fetish scene?

I was lucky. I discovered it shortly after my 18th birthday. I saw the film Preaching to the Perverted at a house party. It’s about a Dominatrix who runs a fetish club and has a house full of slaves. Everything just clicked for me, I finally understood why traditional relationships never felt right. I didn’t want to settle down and have kids. I wanted her life.

Not long after, I met a guy on a leash at a rock club and asked, “Is that just for show, or is it for real?” That kicked off a long friendship and kink dynamic. We found flyers and copies of Skin Two Latex Extra to learn about events, and we’d travel all over the country to attend them. Because back then, it was harder to find the scene!

What made you pursue a life in the scene?

The scene just made sense. I didn’t want a boyfriend—I wanted slaves. Like the character in the film, I wasn’t even necessarily looking for sexual relationships. I wanted people to serve me. Within a few years, I was running a business and deeply embedded in the kink community. I had found my tribe.

What made you stay?

The community. Years ago, I went through a messy divorce and ended up homeless for a time. People from the kink scene opened their doors, gave me their sofas and spare rooms, and supported me through it. My business was also affected, I had to choose between starting over under a new name or walking away entirely. The community’s support to rebrand and rebuild was incredible. What took years the first time took just a few months to get back up and running.

And secondly: I’m a kinky pervert! Vanilla life just feels flat without regular kink. Letting my Domme side out to play with a willing submissive calms me and keeps me grounded. Planning scenes and playing with Total Control dynamics keeps my mind sharp and engaged.

All images have been used with Vicky’s consent. 

What’s your favourite kinky hobby?

Total Control. It’s rare to find someone I want to go that deep with, but when I do, it’s an intellectually stimulating and intense experience, especially when you keep it SSC and maintain independent lives.

On the lighter side, I love service. There’s something incredibly satisfying about a maid or houseboy cleaning my home while I boss them around and being left with a sparkling house at the end of it!

And your favourite vanilla hobby?

I love dancing and do all sorts. I go to rock and goth clubs, often with light-up props and sometimes fire! I’ve even performed at events like Antichrist, Club Pedestal, and Download Festival. Mostly, I dance for fun. Some of my regular clubs let me up on stage whenever I want more space.

Recently, I’ve also fallen in love with a local community orchard/allotment project. Being in nature and growing food is so grounding, and it aligns with my passion for sustainability. (There’s even a Green Issues page on my website about how I run the business as sustainably as possible.)

What was your greatest achievement and your biggest failure?

There are too many achievements to list! Getting a million views per video on YouTube was amazing. Performing at Download Festival and having the DJ stop to ask the crowd to cheer for me as a fire fan dancer (when he didn’t do that for anyone else all night) that’s unforgettable.

Winning awards always makes me proud. Producing the educational magazine Curious for eight straight years was another big one. It was supported by the kink community and distributed for free, even to therapists and healthcare providers, at a time before Fifty Shades, when kink was far less accepted. It was part of my mission to educate and reduce stigma.

As for failures… I don’t really see things that way. If something doesn’t work, I learn from it. If something feels like a personal failing, like my social anxiety that’s flared up at times, I seek therapy and work to overcome it.

What did your greatest achievement/biggest failure teach you about yourself?

That I can try anything. I’ve stood on stage at Download in front of tens of thousands of people and wowed them. I’ve travelled the world with a bag full of floggers, teaching people how to have better kink lives. I’ve learned I’m resilient, and that gives me the courage to really live.

All images have been used with Vicky’s consent. 

Do you have any advice for young kinksters? and entrepreneurs like yourself?

Young kinksters: education is everything. There’s so much content out there now, it’s vital to find reliable sources. Research your educators. Learn about a topic from multiple places so you can spot the common ground, that’s usually the accurate bit. And most importantly, get out there. Don’t wait until you feel perfectly prepared. Just go to your first munch or event and give it a go.

My first event was The Firm. It had a rope bondage class in one corner, a Crufts-style pup play competition in the main room, and Alex Jacob cracking whips in the garden. I knew I’d found my people.

For entrepreneurs: start small, flexible, and within your means. Try things out and learn as you go. I originally thought I’d run a goth clothing business with the occasional kink event. But it became clear my real passion (and the viable path) was creative, high-quality impact play gear for the kink scene.

Will you share a funny anecdote from your life in the scene?

There are so many… I’ve often thought about trying stand-up comedy! But here’s one…

I used to go to evening pottery classes. After a few weeks, they found out what I did and asked for an outrageous story. Kink had become so normal for me that I couldn’t think of anything on the spot.

But then, at the very next kink market, a woman came around asking all the traders for medical play tools, she’d lost a toy inside herself and thought a kink market might be faster than A&E! We weren’t sure if it was a humiliation scene or real, but she was persistent. No one had what she needed, so eventually one trader offered to help. She agreed, and he retrieved the toy: a small anal plug that had been used in the wrong hole (which is why you should use toys designed for the right one!).

I thought, Perfect! Now I’ve got a story for pottery class! I told it at the next session… and the room went dead silent. Mouths open. Everyone visibly shocked. I realised I’d completely misread the room 😅 and just how immersed in the kink world I really was!

All images have been used with Vicky’s consent. 

All images have been used with Vicky’s consent. 

Now tell me, what does the future have in store for you?

Who knows! I keep the business small and agile so I can adapt to whatever comes, whether it’s global events, changes in the scene, or just new personal passions.

This summer I’m really looking forward to the Cruel Huntress events, they appeal to both my creative and primal sides.

All images have been used with Vicky’s consent. 

How very inspiring, thank you for your time Vicky, and thank you for your candor, honesty, and empowering message 🙂

That is all for today and if you want to know more about Vicky and her products, visit her website. 

To you all, take care and keep it kinky!!

All images have been used with Vicky’s consent.